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Thursday, 22 January 2009

Orcs and Goblins vs Dwarfs 2000 points

warhammer fantasy battle report :-

"The nearby Dwarven cannoneers looked on with some bemusement: surely this ramshackle device belonged back in the museum, and not here on the battlefield!"

(superb battle maps and very amusing narrative. Look out an appearance by "Grom")

source : giltwar.wordpress.comcredit : the scribe22-Jan-2009

Following the crushing defeat of the allied army, and the retreat of the devastated Bretonnian Army to Castle Calhew, Glarsnot Bloodcurdle found more and more greenskin tribes rallying to his bloody and victorious banner. What had started as a dispute over gold mining rights, and escalated into a clash with Karak Kadrin, had now become a fullscale Waaagh, stretching from the the northern Badlands, through the Border Princedoms and Black Mountains, and north to the World’s Edge.

While this presented new opportunities for loot and conquest, it also presented new challenges. Finally, after many entreaties, the reluctant Border Princes finally began to provide substantial material support to the embattled Calhews. Elsewhere, previously unengaged Dwarven holds mobilized their forces to confront the growing Greenskin challenge.

Indeed, soon enough, news soon reached the Orcish commander of a Dwarven force marching towards Mad Dog Pass–possibly to besiege the Orcish garrison at Black Crag, or possibly even to seize the pass itself. Perhaps more ominous still was the news that the army carried with it an ancient Dwarven device: one of the fearsome Goblin Hewers constructed decades ago by the famed (if rather deranged) Malakai Makaisson. Obtained years earlier as scrap parts by Master Engineer Ironthighs Ian of Karaz-a-Karak, it had been loving restored by his son, Curator Thesmith of the of the Dwarven Museum of Rocks, Technology, and Still More Rocks. With a band of specially recruited crew of graduate student Slayers, Curator Thesmith Son-of-Ian clearly hoped the museum piece would turn the tide against the Greenskin invasion…


The Goblin Hewer is indeed a fearsome device: 48″ range, usually hits, never misfires, and does D3 S4 hits per rank. It is, in my view, a seriously overpowered item…

Nonetheless, my opponent had a brand new (and newly-painted) one, so we wanted to use it. I had no intention of going up against it frontally. Instead, I would snipe at it with war-engines, and envelop from the flanks. My Black Orcs, supported by Night Goblin Spears and two small units of Spider-Riders, would take the west flank. The Orc Boys, supported by Spiders and a Troll, would take the east flank. Snotlings would advance through up the centre to draw fire.


Seeing the greenskin deployment, Dwarf-Lord Grevious Rustyblade immediately ordered the deployment of his reserves to the flanks, the reinforce them against the expected double envelopment. Elsewhere, the Rangers advanced to the edge of woods–much to the surprise of the advancing greenskins, who had not expected to find them there.

Meanwhile, Curator Thesmith Son-of-Ian, looking oddly out of place in a tweed jacket and pipe, removed the dustcover from the reconditioned Goblin-hewer, and gave the signal to start up its engine. Furiously, his graduate students started to pedal.

The nearby Dwarven cannoneers looked on with some bemusement: surely this ramshackle device belonged back in the museum, and not here on the battlefield!

The Goblin-Hewer clattered and hummed (and the furiously pedaling slayer/graduate students huffed and puffed) as the machine spun up to speed. The gunners guffawed one last time, turned to their own tried-and-tested weapons, and sighted the cannons upon the foe.

“Fire one!” With crash, a huge iron ball flew across the field, narrowly missing the Night Goblins.

“Fire two!” With an even larger crash, Dwarven cannoners flew in the air as the weapon exploded in a catastrophic misfire.

The Curator paid little attention as bits of iron, wood, and dwarven beard fell around him. Instead he leaned forward, and pressed the large red button marked “Press Me.” With a clatter, axes were hurled into the distance–and, his graduate students cheered as three of the Night Goblins fell dead. He could hardly wait to tell his fellow scholars back the the Museum’s Department of Arcane Devices (and Rocks) of his success.

Curators Thesmith’s fearsome demonstration did little to deter the brave Snotlings of the 787th and 788th Snotling Regiment, however, as they advanced towards the guns. A few wondered why there were so many Snotling Regiments, and why they were rarely heard of after their first battle. However, most of the Snotlings–being Snotlings–were more focused on making squeaky noises, picking their noses, and rushing towards their foe (a major reason, of course, why the life expectancy of Snotling Regiments is so regrettably short.) On the flanks, the bulk of the Army advanced too, urged on by an early waagh by Glarsnot Bloodcurdle that resulted in all of three units advancing an extra 1″ each…

Meanwhile, Mork (or, possibly, Gork) looked on from a distance, his oddly husky-like eyes glowing green with the lust of impending battle (or, possibly, dropped popcorn).


The Dwarves continued to march Warriors to their flanks as reinforcements, as their warmachines and shooters fired into the advancing Greenskins. For their part, Orcish shock troops advanced on each flank, supported by their Goblin allies.

Yepme Goboom, the wolf-mounted Goblin hero, clutched his Brimstone Bauble in his hand and spurred his mount along the edge of Cutting Copse, until he was just in sight of that infernal axe-throwing machine. If he could just get a clear charge at it…


Curator Thesmith Son-of-Ian looked up from his well-thumbed library copy of Globule’s Guide to Hurling long enough to see a lone Goblin near Cutting Copse. He calmly twirled a dial, prodded a graduate student to pedal faster, and pulled some lever. In the distance, the gobbo fell to the ground, three axes impaled in his little green head. The Curator puffed contently on his pipe: By Jove, this was a lovely device!

In the centre of the battlefield, the Thunderers and Quarrelers poured fire into the advancing Snotlings. Soon the once-proud (if unsurprisingly short-lived) 787th and 788th regiments were no more. Somewhere, a greenskin recruiter sighed, and accosted young, naive snotlings with tales of the exiting life one could lead in the soon-to-be-established 789th regiment.

Seeing the weakness in the greenskin centre, the Ironbreakers began to advance, hoping to either engage the Yella Moonz Night Goblins, or to outflank the flanking Black Orcs by circling around the now spider-infested Cutting Copse.

On the east flank of the battle, Glarsnot Bloodcurdle drew his Akrit Axe, and charged straight towards the Longbeard Rangers, his standard-bearer at his side. As he did so, Slarkfug Boarmuncher (astride, as usual, his Ironback Boar) led the Silentdeath Spiders through the woods and into the flank of the Dwarves. The fighting was fierce, but brief: the Longbeards lost the combat, turned, and were cut down.


Dwarf-Lord Grevious Rustyblade raised his hand to halt the column of Dwarven Warriors that had been steadily marching to strengthen his army’s eastern flank. With the Rangers gone, and the Orc Boyz advancing on the Quarellers, there was a real risk that he would simply be reinforcing failure. With a heavy heart, he signaled the Dwarves to turn around, and head back to the main body of the army. The eastern flank was on its own.

Indeed, as the Dwarven General feared, guttural war-cries could soon be heard as Glarsnot Bloodcurdle, Biggaboots Sicklifta, the Orc Boyz and the Dreadspinner Spiders all slammed into the Quarellers and both Grudge Throwers. Although they fought valiantly, the Dwarves were overcome. Only young Thane Karbon Ironsmelter, the battle standard bearer, survived the melee, and immediately rushed after the departing warriors as fast as his short little Dwarf legs would carry him.

On the west flank something of a standoff had developed. Neither the Blue Moonz Night Goblins nor the Greyweb Spiders were willing to charge into the Warriors, fearing they might either lose the fray or be subsequently shot to pieces by the Goblin Hewer. The Black Orcs too were reluctant to exit from behind the shelter of Cutting Copse, for fear of being cut down by the Curator’s contraption. Perhaps it was safer to just hold in position, and hope that the Goblin artillery–which had thus far done very little damage–might destroy the war-machine.


The standoff continued, as the two sides made minor adjustments to their line. Most significant of all, the Ironbreakers continued to circle around the woods, and the Black Orcs turned to face them, while the Darkvenom Spiders readied to charge the Ironbreaker’s flank.

The uncharacteristic Greenskin caution seemed fully vindicated when Curator Thesmith Son-of-Ian once more turned his weapon at the Yella Moonz Night Goblins, killing five of the double-ranked speargobbos in a single flurry of deadly axes.


The Ironbreakers continued to advance, their movement slowed by the need to negotiate around the woods, and their ranks thinned by several hits from the Spear Chukkas. The Black Orcs, with a Banner of Butchery and Spider allies waiting to pounce, stood luring the Dwarves deeper into a trap..

It was not to be, however. Night fell before the incredibly slow stunties could reach the Orcs. The battle had ended, with two Dwarven banners captured, and a marginal victory to the greenskins


This was one very odd game. My army crushed the Dwarves on my right, but once having achieved this victory I was unwilling to risk throwing it away by pressing on in the face of massed Dwarven gunfire and endless numbers of hurled axes. Indeed, the entire battle had been shaped by that cursed device: the Dwarves defending it, and me avoiding it.

Had the game gone on, the Ironbreakers were one turn away from being crushed–probably. Although they would have been flanked, and outnumbered, their gromril armour always makes them annoyingly difficult to kill.

1 comment:

John said...

Great write up really enjoyable narrative style, and I liked the maps

Have to get myself one of those Goblin Hewers

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